In That Last Moment
by Sarabella
Summary: Lanie explains to Kate that everyone leaves, but what matters most is how and when you say good-bye to those you love.
1. Chapter 1

_I just discovered Castle this season and wow I can't believe what I have been missing! This is my first Castle fic. It is an idea that just wouldn't leave me alone. This takes place after "countdown" although there is ( i believe only one small reference to the episode itself) so be warned. There is also one teeny tiny curse word towards the end but nothing truly offensive ( I hope!). I hope everyone enjoys. _

_Oh yeah, since this is purely for fun I hope that ABC doesn't feel the need to sue me. I claim ownsership of nothing._

Kate sat at a table towards the back of the nearly empty pub nursing the single bottle of beer that she had planned to allow herself that night. Lanie was late, no surprise there. Kate had seen Esposito heading down to the M.E.'s office as she herself had left. She planned to give her friend another twenty minutes before she called it a night. Kate was exhausted. It had been a real humdinger of a week and to top it all off Josh had picked that morning to voice his objections to Castle's presence in their lives. It hadn't been the first time that they had argued about the writer, but this time Josh had decided to rehash the subject at the precinct, in front of others, and as loudly as he could without actually yelling. She could only be grateful that Castle hadn't come in until much later in the day and hadn't overheard the argument. She would have been mortified if he had. She had just threatened to prematurely end anyone's life who told him when they got the call that a body had dropped and she the boys had had to leave.

Despite her boyfriend's objections she had called Castle to let him know about their newest case, but she hadn't been able to reach him. Ten minutes after she had left him a message with the location of the crime scene he had sent her a text telling her that he was stuck in meetings all morning but that he would try to catch up with them back at the 12th. She hadn't been surprised that a very large part of her was disappointed that he wasn't going to be there with them, coffee in hand and some random comment that he knew would make her smile. When he had finally shown up she and the boys had already wrapped up the case-it had helped that the wife had stayed at the scene, covered in blood and still holding the murder weapon. He hadn't been his normally peppy self either and Kate wondering what his meetings that morning had been about. He had brought them all lunch and stayed long enough to eat with them and then he was giving them excuses as to why he couldn't go out to celebrate with them that evening.

"Rain check?" he had asked the three detectives as he had stood and slipped back into his lightweight jacket. They had all agreed that they would try to do something the next weekend, if they weren't tied up in a case of course. Castle's quiet demeanor had Kate worried. She pulled out her phone to check any messages that she might have missed from him due to the music in the pub, but there was nothing. Since it wasn't at all like him not to text her randomly throughout the day she decided to send him a quick message.

_In case you changed your mind, the offer for beer and talk still stands.-Kate_

The response was almost immediate.

_Wish I could, but must have something for the publishers by the end of the week. Hope you guys have fun.-Castle_

Kate stared at the message for a moment. Could it really be that the only thing bothering him was a deadline? Why hadn't he responded with some witty comment about her missing him and needing to see him? How far behind on the book could he possibly be that he couldn't spare a few hours to have drinks with his friends?

"Hey girl!" Lanie said as she sat in the chair across the table from Kate.

"Hey. I was beginning to wonder if you were going to stand me up."

"I had a few things to clear up in the office before I left."

"Umm-hmm. I bet." Kate was grinning at her friend as Lanie shot her a look then turned to the waitress that was waiting to take her order.

After placing her drink order Lanie turned her attention back to Kate who was once again studying her phone.

"Wanna talk about it?" Lanie asked as she watched Kate impatiently close the phone and shove it back in her bag.

"About what?"

"I don't know. Why don't we start with this morning?" Lanie watched as Kate took a rather large drink from the bottle in her hands.

"Esposito needs to learn to keep his mouth shut." It irked her that her private life was being talked about at work. It only annoyed her more that she was having to talk about it again here with Lanie.

"Hey, Javi didn't tell me anything that I hadn't already heard before he came down this evening. Kate, is everything ok with you and motorcycle boy?"

"His name is Josh, Lanie. We're fine."

Lanie completely ignored Kate's request to use the doctors first name and instead jumped to more important part of her statement.

"So when you say fine, do you mean 'fine' like when the boys pulled you out of a storage freezer and you told them you were 'fine' even though you were still as blue as the corpse on my exam table 'fine'? Or are you actually 'fine'. Because I have to tell you girl, you and I have different ideas about what that word means."

"I don't want to talk about Josh, Lanie. I just want to forget that the whole thing happened. Okay?"

Their conversation stopped for a moment as the waitress brought Lanie her drink and then asked if either of them needed anything else. Once they had both assured her that they were 'fine' the waitress headed back towards the bar where the majority of the other patrons were sitting.

"Kate, I'm your best friend. We can tell each other pretty much anything. I'm not going to run back and tell Javi everything we say. But I have to be honest with you sweetie, I don't think you are fine."

"I don't remember asking you for your opinion." Kate interrupted.

"Too bad, you are going to get it anyway. I think that you think you might be making the wrong choice. I think that you are embarrassed by what happened this morning, not only that but I think that you are angry. But who are you mad at Kate? Josh, because he aired your dirty laundry at work? Castle, because he wasn't there today when you wanted him to be? Yourself, because despite the fact that you swore you would fall for our favorite mystery writer, you've gone and done it anyway?"

Kate set her beer back down on the table with a loud smack, flustered that she was having to explain herself when all she wanted to do was drink and not think about Josh or Castle for five minutes.

"First, my relationship with Josh isn't up for debate. Second, Castle and I are just friends-"

"And as your friend you feel like he should have come out tonight to celebrate with you and the boys."

"He's trying to finish the book Lanie. I am perfectly aware that Castle has a life away from the 12th, away from me. He's my friend, just like you. He's my partner, just like Ryan and Esposito-"

"But he isn't Kate. Castle isn't your partner. He's writer, he's a shadow, he isn't a cop."

"You don't get to judge our partnership Lanie. He may just be a writer, but I always know that he has my back. I trust him with my life as much as he trusts me with his. That's what makes us partners. It works for us. I'm partnered with someone I can trust and Castle gets the research he wants for his books."

By now their drink sat forgotten on the table between them. Kate was tired of defending her relationship with Castle to everyone who came and went, why couldn't everyone just leave them alone? What they had worked for them…at least it used to. She couldn't help feeling that the expiration date on their partnership was coming up and the thought made her slightly nauseous.

"Oh Kate, do you really not see it?"

"See what?" Kate was seconds away from picking up her bag and leaving. Her day had gone badly enough and the last thing that she wanted to do was to sit here and argue with Lanie.

"Kate, he doesn't keep tagging along with you because of research. The man has done enough research to spend the rest of his life writing Nikki Heat stories without being in on another case. He doesn't keep coming back because he's your friend or your partner. He keeps coming back because he's in love with you, Kate."

"No, he isn't-"

"Kate, Castle is in love with you and he knows that the only way he can be a part of your life is by being your partner at work. He doesn't watch you the way he does because he needs to know how Nikki would walk, or what she would say. He watches you because he can't help himself. He doesn't ride along so that he knows what Nikki would do in a similar situation, he goes because he thinks if he's there with you that he protect you, even though you are the one with the gun. "

"Lanie, please…" Kate struggled to keep the tears that were swelling behind her eyes from falling.

"I think you want him to be your partner because you've convinced yourself that that is the only way that you can keep him in your life. I think that maybe you are just as much in love with him as he is with you. I think Josh is insecure for a reason, because he sees what the rest of us see when you and Castle are in the same room together. I'm just afraid that the two of you, you and Castle, are never going to stop dancing in this circle around each other without ever taking a chance to see what you really could be."

Kate leaned forward in her chair, her hands coming up to scrub at her closed eyes as she began to lose the fight over her tears.

"Josh, stayed here because of me. He didn't go to Haiti because I asked him not to. In the months since that case he has refused three other offers from Doctors without Borders because I didn't want him to go. He chose me Lanie. He's a nice guy and he loves me. He makes me laugh. We have fun. He's everything that I have always looked for and could never find." Kate tried to explain.

"Is Josh the first person you want to talk to when you get a break in a case? Is he the first person that comes to mind when you've had a really great day or even a really bad one? Who were you thinking about when you were sitting in that freezer waiting to die, Kate? I get that Josh makes you feel contentment. I'm happy that you have fun together. I'll be happy for you if you tell me that you love him in a way that you have never loved anyone else. But Kate, I don't think that you do. He's the safer option because you don't love him like that. He can't really hurt you and that's why you are still with him."

"It's not-"

"Kate."

"What happens when he gets bored? What happens when Castle realizes that he isn't in love with me, that for him it's just sexual? What happens to me when he leaves, when he moves on?"

Even though she had wanted Kate to admit her feelings as well as her fears Lanie was surprised that Kate was actually doing it. Lanie knew that it said a lot about her friends state of mind that she was opening up the way that she was.

"Kate, honey, everyone leaves eventually whether they want to or not. You know that better than anyone. The question is, how and when you want to say goodbye. Let's just say that the two of you continue as you are. One day Josh or some other great guy is going to ask you to marry him and you'll say yes. You're going to want to tell your best friend, and he is going to smile for you and tell you how happy his for you, and because he's Castle he will be." Lanie reached out and took Kate's hands between her own.

"He'll be happy because you are happy. He'll do everything he can not to let you see how much it's hurting him. As time goes on he's going to stop coming in to the precinct. At first you guys will see him a few times a week. Then maybe he'll drop in a few times a month for a few new ideas, and because he misses you. But he knows that his being there causes problems with you and Josh so he'll decide that the best thing for you is for him to just fade out. For a few years you guys may exchange cards and phone calls for special occasions. He'll send flowers when he hears you have a new baby and you'll call him when you find out that Alexis is graduating college. But after a while the calls and emails will stop because you will each be wrapped up in your own lives. And years from now you and Josh will be sitting at your kitchen table swapping sections of the newspaper over coffee and muffins. And for the first time in a long time you are going to see his name there, but it's not going to be in the society column. You'll read in his obituary that he died at home surrounded by his wife and children. That's when you are going to realize that the two of you never really said 'goodbye'. And even though your life has been happy for the most part, and wouldn't have wanted him to regret one moment of his own life, you're wonder if he ever thought about you the way you had thought about him over the years. And Kate, while it might not be a big part of you, there will be a part of you that wishes that it hand been your hand that he was holding when he left, that your face had been the last face that he saw and not hers. That your 'I love you' had been the last thing that he heard."

By this point Kate was sitting with her head on the table between her outstretched arms openly sobbing while Lanie herself was trying not to cry at the obvious pain that her friend was feeling. Both were silent for a few moments until Kate looked up at Lanie. She couldn't remember ever feeling this scared, this alone. Because she knew that everything Lanie had just said was true. That it had in fact already started to happen.

"It's already happening Lanie. That's why he didn't come in to work with us today isn't it? That's why he made excuses instead of coming out with us tonight. He's already pulling away because he doesn't want to upset my relationship with Josh. He thinks that Josh has a problem…maybe he heard someone talking about it when he brought lunch in-"

"Kate, he was there this morning."

"No he wasn't. He texted me. He had a meeting."

"I saw him leaving as I was coming in this morning. I asked him if you had banned him from the building. I was teasing him about getting into trouble. He told me that when he had gotten upstairs that he had realized he had left something at home. He said he'd see me later. He never laughed, never smiled at me. He just walked away."

"Oh God. Oh God, Lanie what do I do?"

"Sweetie, I can't tell you that. I'm not going to lie to you. I'm biased in this situation because Castle is my friend. I've seen the two of you together for years now. To me when I hear Castle and Beckett it's like people are talking about one person. But I don't want you to make a chose him because it is what people expect. I want you to choose the person who makes you happy Kate. The person who you just cannot wait to see, to talk to, to be with."

Kate sat there absorbing everything that she had just heard, everything that she felt. Why the hell did her life have to be this complicated? It seemed like nothing in her life ever came easy. She knew whose name fit into all those things that Lanie had talked about. Without a doubt she knew who it was she wanted share her day with. Who she wanted to be there every morning making coffee and pancakes with. She knew, but she wasn't sure if she could open herself up that much to him, to give him the opportunity to hurt her in ways that no other person living could. It was that fear that was keeping her from standing up and going to see him, from telling him everything that was still all mixed up inside of her and letting him help her to figure it out.


	2. Chapter 2

Kate's head shot up at the sound of the elevator opening to allow its passengers off into the bullpen, just as it had with every arrival for the past three weeks. Each time people had filed out she had waited to see that familiar face. To hear the sound of his voice as he conversed with those whom he had shared the ride up. More often than not she was left disappointed and that morning was no different. She could count the number of times that he had come into the precinct over the last three weeks on one hand. Each time he hadn't been shown up she had heard Lanie's voice,

" _He'll be happy because you are happy. He'll do everything he can not to let you see how much it's hurting him. As time goes on he's going to stop coming in to the precinct. At first you guys will see him a few times a week. Then maybe he'll drop in a few times a month for a few new ideas, and because he misses you. But he knows that his being there causes problems with you and Josh so he'll decide that the best thing for you is for him to just fade out…"_

The week before he had come bouncing in the bullpen practically giddy with excitement and for a moment she had thought that the old Castle was back, that they were back. He had plopped himself down in his chair beside her desk and sat there grinning at her until she had finally taken the hint and set down pen she had been using to scribble down notes about her most recent case. When it seemed that he wanted more than just her undivided attention she had asked him what had him so happy at 10 o'clock on a Monday morning. She had tried to hide her happiness at his excited joy as he began telling her all about the "July 4th Extravaganza" that he was planning at his house in the Hamptons. The beach, the food, the _Fireworks!_ And of course she and the boys would have to be there because really, what was a 4th of July party without your four favorite people? He had assured her that she was free to bring anyone she wanted; Josh was welcome to join them. She hadn't wanted to discuss Josh with him at that moment, in front of the entire homicide division, so she had let the subject slide

It hadn't taken him long to notice that she had no longer been sharing his excitement and he had immediately assumed that her lack of enthusiasm had to do with Josh. When the call came in that there was a break in the case he had hesitated before agreeing to ride along with them to go collect their suspect. The seriousness with which he had presented himself for the rest of the time that he had spent with them that day had both shocked and saddened her. Lanie had been right. He still smiled at her, but that smile had lacked some of its normal sparkle. He hadn't cracked jokes, or tossed out insanely ridiculous theories. He had more-or-less sat quietly and observed her working. Her cell phone had rung sometime shortly after 3 and she had left to take the call in the break room. She had only been gone a few minutes but when she had come back to her desk she found him standing beside his chair, hands tucked into his pockets waiting for her. He had told her he had an appointment with his publicist to work out some details on book signings that he had to get to. Then with a quick goodbye and a shout out to Ryan and Esposito he was walking back out of the bullpen.

Since that day Kate had seen Castle only twice more at the precinct and only a hand full of times at various crime scenes that she had informed him of. Sitting there with his empty chair in front of her she felt like part of herself was missing. Castle had become such an essential part of her day-to-day life that his absence left her physically aching. In the handful of hours that she had spent with Castle there had never really been a moment when the two of them had been alone long enough to really talk about anything other than the case they were working on. It had seemed to Kate that Castle had been trying to keep a physical distance between them. She had noticed him glance at the opening elevator more than once. He was constantly on edge and the thought that this sudden change in his attitude had to do with her left her feeling guilty as well as lonely.

She was so wrapped up in writing out her report for the case that she had just closed that it took her a moment to realize that someone was standing beside her desk waiting to catch her attention. Immediately she felt herself begin to smile before she looked up. The young man looking down at her wasn't who she had hoped to see, and her smile faltered.

"Detective Kate Beckett?" the young bike messenger asked.

"That's me. Can I help you with something?"

He handed her an envelope with her name written in elegant calligraphy.

"This is for you. Could you tell me where I could find Detectives Ryan and Esposito, as well as Captain Montgomery? I have deliveries for them as well."

She stared at the envelope in her hands, and without looking back up she told him to leave them on her desk and she would make see to it that they were delivered. With a quick nod and a "thanks" the messenger left the rest of his delivery on her desk and headed back towards the elevator. Slowly she peeled open the envelope and pulled out the invitation. He had sent their invitations to his party via messenger. He hadn't come himself to goof off with Ryan and Esposito or o hear about the shopping Lanie was going to do to prepare. He hadn't come to badger her until she assured him that she was coming. It wasn't like him to send a messenger to them, his friends, it was too impersonal. He was a man who enjoyed face to face interaction.

_Detective Kate Beckett and Guest_, that was how he had addressed her invitation. Not Beckett. Not Kate or KB and she knew that by "guest" Castle had meant Josh. However, what cut her the most was the RSVP card that had come with it. He wouldn't be coming in to see them before the party, to make sure that they would be attending. She didn't know whether his distancing himself made her want to scream or cry, but either way she knew she had to get out of the bullpen before she ended up doing both in front of everyone that she knew.

Kate found herself outside of the M.E.'s office and wondered in to find Lanie cleaning up after an autopsy.

"Cause of death?" Kate asked instead of 'hello'.

"Stupidity." Lanie told her with a sigh.

"Can you tell me why in the age of technology, people still cannot understand that mixing alcohol-generous amounts of alcohol at that- with recreational drugs is just setting yourself up for an early retirement from life?" Lanie asked as she walked over to the sink to wash her hands before turning back to face her friend.

For the first time since Kate walked into her domain Lanie really looked at her friend.

"Uh-oh. I take it you got your invitation as well?"

"What the hell is he doing, Lanie?" Kate hopped up and sat on edge of the counter space beside the sink.

"He sent a messenger! A messenger! Like we're people his publishers are forcing him to invite! We aren't worthy of his time. Detective Kate Beckett and Guest, that's how he had my invitation addressed. Seriously? Part of me wants to go over there and strangle him with $500 tie."

"Have you talked to him about what he overheard that day?" Lanie asked as she opened her own invitation. _Dr. Lanie Parish_ was written out in the same calligraphy as Kate's invitation but to the side Castle had scribbled in _no need to add 'guest' since your plus one is going to be Esposito._ He'd even added a little winking smiley face afterwards.

"I haven't had the chance-" Kate started to explain.

"Girl, really?"

"It isn't my fault! You know that he's been avoiding me. Even when he's here he spends most of his time with the boys. Although, how he manages to do research for Nikki if he is spend all his time with 'Roach' I can't imagine. There just hasn't been a good time. There is always someone hovering or dying."

Lanie watched as Kate sat there pouting and wanted to laugh even though she knew now wasn't the time.

"And obviously you forgot his address and as a cop have no way of finding it. And his phone number was deleted from you cellphone by accident and it isn't like you knew it by heart or something. Kate, you really expect me to believe that in three weeks you haven't been able to find five minutes to tell Castle you are in love with him?"

"Not really a five minute conversation, Lanie."

The two women realized at exactly the same moment what Kate had just admitted to. One wore a smug smile because Christmas had just come early this year. The other looked like a deer caught in the head-lights of an oncoming semi.

"That's not what I meant-" Kate started.

"Yes it is! I mean I knew it but I can't believe you admitted it!"

Kate watched as Lanie practically danced towards her.

"Neither can I." Kate admitted.

"Kate, go over there this minute and tell the man that you broke up with the doc, and that you love him and only him. Kiss him until his eyes cross and then after you get your groove back smack him upside the head for being an idiot and sending us invitations by messenger!"

"Lanie, it's the middle of the day. I have work to do, I can't just leave."

"Yeah, I see how busy you must be. Go. Now! Don't think about it Kate. For once just go with what you are feeling. You can think about it later."

Lanie was more-or-less shoving her out the door. The M.E. even went so far as to go back up to the bullpen with her to ensure that Kate didn't back out.

After grabbing her keys and telling the boys about their invitations still on her desk she told them that she was going out for lunch and would be back later. There were a hundred things running through her mind as she made her way to Casa de Castle. Each of them had her nerves tingling-in fear, in anticipation, in hope. Three words, they were all she needed to say to him. Those three words would change her life-their lives forever and she knew it. Rick Castle was her one and done. After finding parking relatively close-four blocks away- she endured the elevator ride up to his loft and found herself standing outside his door. After several deep breaths that were meant to steady her-none of which worked- she knocked. As the door opened she started to blurt out her "I Love You" as her nerves got the better of her. Fortunately she held her tongue because the Castle standing in front of her wasn't the one she had expected to see.

"Kate! Hi!" Alexis smiled up at her.

Kate could hear music in the background and wondered if father and daughter were playing one of Rick's video games.

"Hey Alexis. How is your summer going?"

"Great! Yours?"

Alexis pulled the door open wider, a silent invitation for Kate to come in.

"Pretty good. What's with the Aerosmith concert in the other room?"

"Oh sorry. Ashley is helping to finish packing up some of my stuff that I planned to take to the beach house with us."

"Alexis, is your father home?" Kate grinned at the girl in front of her.

"No, but Gram is. Don't worry we really are just packing." The two women grinned at each other.

"So where is Castle Sr.?" Kate asked as she followed Alexis further into the loft.

"He left for the Hamptons two days ago. Gina came over and started in on him because he's so far behind on the book. He told her he hadn't been to the precinct in days and that he had spent all of that time writing, but Gina is Gina and she insisted that he get out of town and away from all of his "distractions" and "toys", her words not mine. Like my dad doesn't have just as many toys and distractions at the beach house as he does here."

Kate wasn't registering anything that Alexis was telling her. She felt as though someone had punched her in the gut. This couldn't possibly be happening to her again. Oh God, she should have come sooner. She should have called him and told him that they had to talk, that it was important. She felt like crying…she felt like throwing up. She kept hearing Lanie's description of their lives and envisioning Gina as the woman who would spend her life loving and being loved by one man on the planet that made Kate feel complete.

"Kate, are you ok?" Alexis asked, concern for her father's friend apparent in both her tone and the look in her eyes.

"I'm fine, Alexis. I just came by to see if your dad wanted to ride along on this next case, but he's obviously busy. I'll catch up with him later."

Kate made her way to the door.

"You'll be there for the 4th won't you? Dad was really looking forward to seeing you."

"I don't know if I'll be able to make it. The guys will be there though."

Alexis reached out and grabbed Kate's hand, stopping the older woman from fleeing.

"Please come. I don't know what you two fought about, but he hasn't been himself for weeks. He misses you. He mentions you at least a dozen times a day. I know that he can be difficult to handle, and he isn't the most mature person on the planet. He makes mistakes, he's insecure sometimes and he tries to cover it by acting overly confident. But there's something about the way that he says your name, like just the sound of it makes him smile. Please Kate, come next weekend and talk to him."

Kate tried to smile. She adored Alexis almost as much as she adored the girls' father.

"We'll see. I gotta go. I have to get back to work. I'll see you later."

"Bye Kate."

She waited until Alexis shut the door and she heard the locks fall into place before she made her way back out to her car. She sat there for a moment before she pulled out her phone.

_He's in the Hamptons. He's with Gina._

She pressed send and as she waited for Lanie's response she let herself feel everything that was waiting inside of her. Tears that had been threatening to break through her control for weeks came streaming down her cheeks as she flung her head back against the headrest. Kate sat there in her car, the sun shining down through the windshield, as she cried until she felt as though she couldn't possibly have any tears left to cry. However, later that night as she lay alone in her bed, she found out how wrong she was. Her head ached, her heart ached, it seemed as though every part of her was hurting and it was because of him. She wondered briefly if this was how he had felt in the weeks since he had started to remove himself from her life. Had he felt like this when he had seen her with Josh? Was it her fault that he had left with Gina again? As she drifted off into a fitful sleep she found herself uncertain about what she should do next. Was it really fair to either of them to keep playing this game over and over?


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Sorry about the long wait. I'm in grad school and midterms were last week. Then last weekend while I was running (trying to prepare for the Susan G Komen 5k) I tore a calf muscle and spent the whole weekend and much of the beginning of the week trying to learn to walk in a ski boot, not fun! I want to thank those of you who responded to the last two chapters. You guys are amazing! I was amazed at how many people have added this story to their alert list. Thank you. Hopefully there won't be such a long delay for the next chapter. This story was supposed to end with this chapter, but these new ideas keep popping into my head. I guess we'll see where that takes me. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

The silence in the car was beginning to grate on her nerves, nerves that were already worn thin by her situation with Castle. Her plans for the 4th, despite Lanie and Alexis begging her to attend the party, had been to curl up in her tub with a book and shutting the rest of the world out for a few hours. She had woken early that morning and realized that it would be one of those rare days where she could simply roll back over and go back to sleep, and as she had been preparing to do just that her phone had begun to ring. With a frustrated groan she reached over and grabbed it off the nightstand beside her bed.

"Good morning Katie."

"Dad? Is everything ok? Has something happened?"

She had already thrown the covers off the bed and was hunting for her tennis shoes when she heard him chuckling on the other end of the line.

"Everything is fine Kate. I was wondering what time you were planning to leave today."

Her sleep hazed brain couldn't begin to wrap around what her father had been asking her.

"Leaving? Dad, what are you talking about?"

"For the Hamptons Katie, what time were you planning on leaving? I thought I might just ride out with you."

He had been amused at having caught her off guard; she had been able to hear it in his voice.

"Dad, I'm not going to the Hamptons-"

She had started to explain.

"Rick was nice enough to invite us up for the 4th of July, Kate. The least you can do is make an appearance. I thought the two of you were friends."

'So did I.' she thought to herself as she pictured the messenger delivering her invitation.

"Dad, I've already told them I'm not…wait, how did you know about the thing in the Hamptons?"

"I got my invitation weeks ago Katie. Rick called a few days ago to make sure I was still planning to join them. I told him I wouldn't miss it."

"Ric-Castle called you?"

"Sure."

"_My_ Castle called you on the phone? Where did he get your number?"

"_Your _Castle, Katie? I hadn't realized that the two of you had-"

"We haven't! You know what I meant. How often do the two of you talk?"

"We can talk about all of this in the car sweetheart. I'll come get you. Get dressed. You can be my plus one."

"I'm not going and if I were I wouldn't need to be your plus one, dad. Castle invited me as well."

"An invitation that you turned down. I'll be there in an hour Kate. Be ready."

He had hung up without giving her a chance to once again reiterate that she had no intentions of going to the Hamptons and watching Rick make a fool of himself over his ex-wife publisher or the deep-fried twinkie, or whichever bimbo groupie he had decided to take with him as after-hours entertainment.

That was how she had ended up in her father's car staring out the window nearly at the end of their 2 ½ hour drive out to Castle's Southampton estate. She felt ridiculous even thinking the word 'estate', let alone actually saying it out loud. She had scrambled to find something to wear that she thought might be appropriate for this outrageous get together; she seriously hoped that this affair wasn't full of social climbers and celebutantes.

She spent 2 hours attempting to school her response to seeing Castle with another woman, knowing that once again the opportunity had passed them by. Part of her was angry; at Castle for once again running off with his ex when she needed him most, at Lanie for putting the images of her life without him in her mind, at herself for keeping him at arm's length for so long. However, it was the hurt that she tried to avoid thinking about. He had promised her 'always', and she had believed him.

'_Too bad our ideas of 'always' were so different.'_ She thought to herself as her father turned off the main road and drove through the open gates of the estate.

Estate was defiantly the Castle's "house in the Hamptons" sat on what Kate guessed to be about 10 acres of land. _'Of course he own a house that comes with more grass and trees than could be found in Central Park!' _

The air was full of a variety of smells, the freshly mown lawn, the trees and flowers in the full bloom of summer, the crystal blue ocean that she could see on the horizon. She couldn't help feeling that perhaps all the missed opportunities over the last three years had been fates way of telling her that she was right, they were too different to be together. She didn't belong in his world any more than he belonged in hers.

As her father parked his car with those of the other guests she took a deep breath in preparation for what she knew was coming next. They would join the party and at some point she and Castle would talk. She would stand there in front of him and break her own heart before he ever got the chance to finish the job. She would do all those things that Lanie had told her that he would do for her. She would smile at him. Tell him how happy she was for him and how just how much she had valued their time as partners and as friends, and then she would walk away. She could settle for the occasional email or card, even the sporadic phone call that would keep them up to date on major events of each other's lives. If she couldn't have the fairy tale then she could live with contentment. She would _not_ let him see her cry.

As she stepped out of the car she took in the picturesque view of the house. The New England style home was amazingly beautiful with its weathered grey wood siding, white shutters and its multitude of large windows framed in the green of the lawn and shrubbery and the riotous colors of flowers. Even the freaking sky was a perfect shade of blue speckled with a few white puffy clouds both of which seemed to blend into the blue and white of the ocean and its waves. She didn't imagine that even Castle would have been able to write a more perfect setting in one of his books, despite is way with words.

The sounds from the party reached her as she rounded the car to meet her father who was already standing halfway up the walkway waiting for her. As she approached he handed her the bottle of sparkling cider that he had been carrying before offering her his arm. She slid her own arm through his and smiled up at him.

"I love you, Katie." He told her as he leaned down to press a kiss to her forehead.

"I love you too, Dad."

She rested her head on his shoulder as they made their way around to the back of the house. She spotted a familiar red head on the tennis court in the distance and watched for a moment as Martha returned a serve half-heartedly. Kate could imagine the older woman commenting on the heat and what sweating would do to her hair as excuses for her lousy return. The thought made Kate smile. She adored Castle's mother. The woman had opened her arms to Kate without question or judgment. Another pang of lose shot through her as she thought about losing that connection with Martha as well as the relationship she had developed with the youngest Castle.

Kate spotted Lanie and Jenny first. The two were standing beside the large pool that held a half-dozen teenagers dressed in various styles of swimwear talking with Alexis. She knew the moment the girl saw her. Alexis's smile was wide and instantaneous.

"Kate! You came!" Both Kate and Jim stopped as Alexis rushed up to greet them, throwing her arms around Kate's neck in a tight hug. The Castles were notorious for their hugs. Kate allowed herself a moment to return the embrace before she backed away.

"Alexis, this is my dad, Jim. Dad, this is Castle's daughter Alexis."

"It's nice to meet you Mr. Beckett. My dad and I are so happy you could come."

"The pleasure is mine Alexis, and please call me Jim."

"Okay Jim. Are you guys hungry? Thirsty? Dad is manning the grill so dinner may or may not be on time." Alexis pointed out Castle standing in front of built-in fire pit with Esposito and Ryan. The two detectives each held a beer in one hand while Castle wielded a grilling fork in one hand and a beer in the other gesturing wildly with both as he spoke. He looked amazing in his khaki shorts and navy polo, even with the apron he was sporting.

"I could do with a glass of water. What about you Kate?"

Her father's question brought her back to the conversation in front of her. Lanie and Jenny had joined them and were continuing whatever conversation they had been having when she had seen them by the pool.

"Nothing for me, but thank you Alexis."

"No problem. Come with me …I mean Jim." The girl smiled shyly up at Jim. "I'll show you where everything is. Kate, if you change your mind there's everything you could possibly want in the bar by the grill."

Jim offered his arm to the young redhead and the two headed off in the direction of the house. Lanie waited until they had gone before she turned back to Kate.

"I didn't think you were coming."

"I wasn't given a choice."

"Well, I'm glad you're here. He's been looking over his shoulder every five minutes to see if you had come. I was afraid we have to treat him for whiplash before the night was over. Love the dress by the way. How did I miss that in your closet?"

Kate looked down at the simple knee length white peasant top dress that she had settled on that morning. She had bought it the year before and never worn the thing. The light linen material was loose and cool. The front was open in a V with laces that she had left undone. Not knowing what to expect when she got here she had chosen red heeled sandles and a clunky red bracelet to match. Despite her love for high-heeled shoes she was already beginning to wish she had simply worn her flip flops.

"It was hidden in the back." She told Lanie with a grin.

"Jenny, Ryan said he wasn't sure you would be able to come either." Kate turned to the other woman in their group. She was so much quieter than Kate or Lanie that she was often left to simply listen to their conversations rather than actually participate in them. Kate often found herself trying to draw the younger woman into their friendship.

"My family usually spends the 4th at my parents' house, but they decided that they were going to take a cruise this year. So I decided to come up here with Kevin."

"I'm glad that you did. Although, this isn't the crowd I expected to find here this weekend. I was sure that Castle was going to go overboard with the guest list."

"You know, I said the same thing to him when we got here. He said he wanted to spend today with family. He restricted Alexis and Martha each to six friends." Lanie told her as she peeked over her shoulder towards the boys at the grill.

"Speaking of Castle, I believe that he has discovered that you came after all."

Kate looked past her friend and saw that he had indeed noticed her arrival. He had drawn Jim Beckett and Montgomery into his group of boys and even as he spoke to them he was watching her. When he realized that she saw him he shot her a quick smile before excusing himself and making his way towards her. Kate didn't realize that she had been holding her breath until it came out in a whoosh as Castle wrapped her up in a tight embrace. Another Castle, another hug. It was quick and innocent and it left her wanting so much more from him.

"You came!" His grin was infectious as he set her back on her feet.

"I did. My dad brought me as his plus one. He was afraid that you would turn me away since I didn't RSVP."

"I would never turn such beauty away." He teased before his smile faltered and he looked past her obviously searching for someone else.

"Josh couldn't make it?" he asked.

"Jenny, we should go check on the boys and make sure that they don't burn our dinner."

Lanie took the other woman's hand and led her away from the couple. Kate watched as the two women abandoned her. She took a step back to put some space between them as she smiled up at him.

"Josh is in Haiti. He left almost a month ago."

"Oh Kate, I'm so sorry."

She could tell by the look that he gave her that he truly meant it. She shrugged as she turned to face the pool and beyond it the ocean.

"This place is amazing Castle. I'm glad that I came."

"Kate, you can talk to me you know. I'm here for you whenever you need me."

He reached down and took her hand in his and she wanted to scream at him that he hadn't been there when she needed him. She wanted to cry because he hadn't.

"Rick, please. Let's not do this." She tried to pull her hands from his grasp but he wouldn't let her go.

"Kate-"

"Kate darling, you're here!" Before Kate could fully comprehend what was happening to her she was swept up in another hug. Martha held on to her for a moment before pulling away and taking Kate's hands in hers.

"And look at you. You look gorgeous. Doesn't she look amazing Richard?"

"Always."

One word. One word and she felt herself losing her grip on the tears that were threatening to spill over.

"Thank you Martha. And thank you for inviting me. If you guys will excuse me I think I'm going to go get something to drink."

She walked blindly towards the house hoping to escape everyone before she lost control completely. She had nearly made it to the edge of the lawn where the grass gave way to sand when she felt someone grab her elbow. There was no reason to turn around, she knew who was behind her, and she knew that she wouldn't be able to keep her promise to herself not to let him see her cry. She could only be grateful that they were out of sight of the rest of the party.

"Kate, please talk to me. What's wrong?"

He turned her towards him and lifted her chin with his knuckle. She kept her eyes tightly closed so that she didn't have to see the look on his face. Without warning he pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her.

"I'm sorry Kate. I'm sorry that he left. I know that you really loved him."

_Josh_. He thought that this was about Josh! She struggled to pull away but just as before he wouldn't let her go. She looked up at him and felt the fist that seemed to squeeze her heart when he was near tighten just a bit.

"I told him to go."

"What? I don't understand. Why? Did you two have a fight?"

This was it. This was the moment that she had hoped would come for those three weeks after she had broken up with Josh. Then she had imagined a completely different outcome that had involved them, a bottle of wine, and shockingly few clothes. But not now, not today.

"I wasn't being fair to him." She said simply.

"Kate, look I know that Josh wasn't thrilled that I hung around so much. I thought maybe if I gave you a little space he would see that I wasn't his competition and he'd come around."

"But you were." The admission had been said so quietly that she wasn't sure that he had even heard it. Then his grip on her loosened and he was holding her away from him.

"I was what Kate?" he whispered as he watched her avoid meeting his gaze. She pulled herself completely out of his grasp and turned so that she was once again facing away from him. Her heart broke a little more when he didn't try to stop her.

"He was safe. With Josh I could keep living my life as I wanted and I thought that _that_ was what I wanted. You know me, one foot out the door. I don't know when, but at some point I realized that that wasn't what I wanted after all and I started to…I started to compare him to you. Little things at first like how I preferred the smell of your cologne to his aftershave. And how he couldn't make me laugh the way you do. How I didn't feel as safe with him as I did when I was with you. How he couldn't understand why I am the way I am like you do."

"Kate…" He reached for her again and she shrugged him away.

"Then after that whole thing in the freezer and nearly dying I realized that I didn't…I didn't love him the way that I love you."


	4. Chapter 4

"_Then after that whole thing in the freezer and nearly dying I realized that I didn't…I didn't love him the way that I love you."_

How, Kate wondered, could a person feel both fear and relief at the same time? She held her breath as she waited, both needing and dreading his response. She wanted more than anything to run. To go back to the party, collect her dad and make him take her home. His arms wrapped around her waist from behind, pulling her close and holding her pressed tightly against him and had her sobbing out her plea.

"Please Rick, don't. Don't say anything."

His chin rested on her shoulder, his cheek pressed next to hers.

"Why Kate? Why won't you let me say it?" he whispered into her ear.

His breath was warm as it brushed against her tearstained cheek. The feel of his body surrounding her made her want to lean back and sink into him. Instead she held herself steady. She didn't bother trying to break his embrace because she knew that Castle possessed more strength than he let on, and that he would let her go unless he wanted to.

"Because you and I can't work Rick. We're friends. We're partners-"

"And what is it when two people are in love with each other if a partnership between friends?" One arm slid from around her waist up her body to press gently at her neck forcing her head to rest against his shoulder.

"I love you, Kate." He took her chin between his finger and thumb tilting her face towards him.

"I love you and I'm going to keep saying it until you believe me Kate."

She gave into him as he pulled her, turning her so that they were standing nearly nose to nose. The hand that gripped her waist was now pressing into the small of her back and the one that had been gripping her chin had slid back and was now tangled in her hair. His intentions were clearly written on his face as he brought his forehead down resting it against hers.

"Say it again? Please Kate, say it again. I promise it's easier the second time. Trust me."

"Rick…look at this place…This isn't me. I don't belong here. You-"

"Then I'll sell it." He blurted out.

"Rick-"

"No, I will. There's a place for sale right down the beach. It only has 6 bedrooms and 7 bathrooms-"

Despite the seriousness of the conversation at hand Castle was still able to make her laugh. She found herself rolling her eyes which earned her the patented Castle grin.

"Castle, I'm serious. I'm not the girl that ends up on page 6. I don't want to be."

"Then I'll sell it all. I'll stop writing and we can live off your paycheck. However, I feel I should warn you I'm kinda high maintenance."

"Rick-"

"Kate, these things aren't who I am. They're just things that I own. They're things that I would want to share with you. But if I had to choose between you and the material things, you win. No contest. I'd give it up Kate if it meant I could hear you say those three little words."The light brush of his lips against hers stole her breath.

"I love you." He whispered between kisses.

"I love you." Another kiss.

"Kate, please..." And another. She reached up to trace a finger along his jaw.

"I love you…" She heard his groan of relief just as she found her face cupped gently between his two hands and his lips crushing down onto hers in a searing kiss. She reached up to thread her fingers through his hair and pulling him closer.

The sounds of their friends and family only a few yards away brought them slowly back to the world around them. Kate heard herself sigh as Castle eased the intensity of the moment pressing several sweet less provocative kisses to her lips before leaning his forehead against hers once more. She realized as his thumbs began wiping the tears from her cheeks that he still held her face in his hands.

"Don't take this the wrong way, because I personally find you beautiful under any circumstances…but considering the fact that your father, and several gun toting cops, are waiting for us, I think that I should probably take you inside and let you wash your face. If Lanie or the boys see that I made you cry…Kate they know how to make my death look like an accident."

That Castle looked genuinely concerned made her laugh.

"Don't worry writer-boy, I'll protect you."

Together they made their way into the house. Kate took a moment to take it all in. Much like the outside the inside was understated elegance, but despite beautifully vanished hardwood floors and vaulted ceilings, the back wall that was mostly glass that offered a view of the ocean, the pool, and the tennis court the house was a home, it was lived it. Beside original works of art hung family pictures, not portraits, but pictures that she imagined one of the three people that lived here had taken. When he led her up the stair case and down the hall to his bedroom and then into the bathroom that was attached she could smell that scent that she had come to associate with him.

"This was the closest bathroom?" she was grinning at him as he stepped out of a small closet between the glassed in shower and the sunken tub with a washcloth in his hands. She leaned against the door as she watched him run cold water over the wash cloth before ringing it out and handing it to her.

"This is the only bathroom where I knew that no one would find us."

Kate was surveying the damage done to her make-up in the vanity mirror behind the sink when he said it. She knew Castle was immediately aware of the implications of the statement that he had just made as soon as he had said it. Their eyes met in the mirror, his wide with shock, hers with amusement.

"That didn't sound good. I swear for once I wasn't trying for the innuendo. It just slipped out."

She laughed into the cool cloth as she simply wiped away all traces of make-up, having decided that the damage irreparable. When she was finished she set the cloth down on the side of the sink before turning to face him. He stayed where he was leaning against the wall opposite her, and she stayed leaning back against the sink.

"Relax Rick. You wouldn't be Castle if you weren't making a pass at me."

She felt so much lighter than when she had stepped out of her father's car. Suddenly she realized that all of the nerves and anxiety had simply melted away. They were still _them_, still Beckett and Castle. Everything she had put herself through over the past few weeks seemed a little trivial. If she had just told him sooner they could have both avoided so much stress and heartache._ ' I should have told him last summer before her left with…'_

"Rick, where's Gina?" she hoped that he hadn't noticed the mild trepidation in her voice.

"Gina? Why would I know where Gina was?" Kate could hear the confusion in his voice.

"No reason. What about the deep-fried Twinkie?"

"Meredith? I believe she's off with the catch of the month sailing in the Mediterranean, Maybe it was the Rivera? I usually tune her out when she gets on a roll about something. I didn't think it was very patriotic of her, but it's Meredith so…Why the inquisition about my ex-wives?"

"I just assumed that they would be here this weekend."

"Both of them? At the same time? Kate, I've done some pretty stupid things but…Wait. Why would you think that one or both of my ex-wives would be up here with me?"

"Alexis may have mentioned that Gina forced you to come up here early under the pretense of working on the book." Kate tried for nonchalant but was failed miserably.

"So you assumed that meant that she came up here with me so that we could…"

"No! Maybe…well is that not what happened last summer? You asked me to go with you and then you turned around and took Gina."

"Last summer…Kate you said you didn't couldn't come. You had plans with Detective wonderful and didn't _want_ to come. I didn't expect for things with Gina to happen. I just didn't want to be up here alone and I knew you wouldn't change your mind"

"Well I did."

"What?"

"I told Demming that I couldn't go with him. I told him that he was a great guy, but that I didn't think that what we had was what I was looking for. I was going to tell ask you if the offer was still open when…"

"When Gina walked up." He finished for her.

"So, motor-cycle boy came while I was up here…You were pretty serious about making it work with him. What happened?"

"A few things; He didn't understand why you were still shadowing me, even though I told him that we were partners. He still wanted to go to Haiti, and since he couldn't stay he wanted me to go with him. Then Lanie said some things that really made me think. What she said made me imagine what my life might be like without you in it. I didn't like it very much."

She explained to him all of the things that Lanie had said and by the time she had finished she was sniffling back tears again. When Castle took a step toward her she took a step as well, meeting him half way before she wrapped her arms around his middle and held on.

"Kate, no matter what I would have always been a part of your life. I wouldn't just walk away from our friendship."

"That's what it felt like. Everything that she said was happening. After you heard what Josh said that day at the precinct you stopped showing up, and even when you did come you didn't stay long. It felt like I was losing you. When it came down to it I wanted you more than I wanted him. Then you had a messenger deliver our invitations to this party."

"Kate that wasn't-"

"That stung. With a little pushing and shoving from Lanie I went to see you late last week. I supposed to tell you that I loved you and then smack you upside the head for being an idiot regarding the invites."

"Since you've already told me I guess you can smack me, but in my defense I wasn't trying to be an idiot. I was trying not to add to your problems with Josh…which now that I think about it does make me an idiot because I should have done more to drive him away! He seriously thought you would just go with him to Haiti for an unknown period of time? Who takes their girlfriend to a country that was devastated by an earthquake?"

"Rick…I didn't go. So you don't have to stand there and let your imagination run away with you."

"Sorry, occupational hazard. We should probably get back to the party."

Kate was sure that this moment, as Castle grabbed her hand and started back through his bedroom, was perfect.

"Ooorrrr…we could just stay up here. They all think we are off doing the nasty anyway…Oh hey!...Apples…Apples! It was just a thought." Kate watched from the corner of her eyes as he rubbed the ear that she had twisted with his free hand as he led them back down the hall. _'Now it was perfectly them.'_ She thought to herself with a smile.

As they stepped outside his hand released hers and moved to the rest at the small of her back, guiding her off the cobblestones of the back patio and onto the green lawn. As they approached their friends who were all gathered together around the food preparing serve themselves Castle's hand slipped off her back as he walked slightly ahead of her heading straight for their favorite M.E. Kate wasn't sure who was more surprised Esposito or Lanie when Castle leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to the M.E.'s cheek and whispered something in her ear. Espositio's, "Dude, don't make me kill you" broke the moment and Castle stepped away winking at his friend before inviting everyone to help themselves.

Two hours later only the adults were left sitting at the long table that had been set up on the grass. Alexis and her friends had gone down to the beach to stake out their spots for the upcoming fireworks and good off in the water. Rick was sitting at the head of the table with Kate to his right and Alexis's empty chair to his left. Everyone seemed to be involved in one conversation or another except for the two of them. Rick grinned at her as he picked up her hand and brought to his lips. They sat like that for a moment her fingers threaded through his just inches from his smiling lips. To distract herself Kate picked up her nearly empty glass of wine.

"Can I kiss you?" Castle asked just as the glass touched her lips. Her 'no' was slightly muffled as continued to take her sip.

"Please?"

"Castle…"

"I've noticed that as of today you've only called me Castle when I am annoying you." He told her.

"So stop annoying me." She replied.

"What did you say to Lanie?"

"I thanked her for being in my corner and offered anything she wanted in return for convincing you that you really were in love with me."

Kate looked over her shoulder at her father who was engrossed in a story that Martha was telling from the other end of the table. She knew that everyone there was aware of the change between herself and Rick, but she wasn't a person overly comfortable with public displays.

"So what did she want?" she asked quietly, hoping that he would respond in kind. She smiled when he did just that.

"Your happiness. I assured her that I would make it a priority." He whispered. It took Kate a moment to respond. When she did she relied on their old habit of teasing each other.

"I didn't realize you were such a sap Castle."

"Detective there is still sooo _much_ for you to learn about me."

She laughed as she picked up her wine glass again and turned her attention to Martha realizing that the story she was telling was about one of Rick's childhood mishaps.

As the sun set most of his guests wandered down towards the sand to watch the fireworks. As Kate started to follow Rick grabbed her hand guided her to a secluded spot in the grass. He sat, holding a hand out to help her down and positioning her so that she sat between his outstretched legs, her back pressed against his chest and her head leaning against his shoulder.

"Trust me?" he whispered against her cheek.

"Always…" her reply was nearly lost as he leaned down to capture her lips with his. This kiss was brief but no less passionate than the few that they had shared earlier.

"Kate…" Rick whispered in her ear as they watched the sky light up in an assortment of colors. His arms were once again wrapped around her as she leaned back into him, and his chin was resting on her shoulder.

"Yeah?"

"Best…Day…Ever."

A/N: I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter. It just didn't come out the way I had planned. Oh Well. Hopefully you enjoyed it anyway. I think that there is only one more chapter left in this tale, I hope that the ending doesn't disappoint. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed and also to those who have added this to your favorite story lists and alerts.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: As always thank you for all of the responses. A special thanks to Bella Paige for the pointing me in the direction of the song that I am using in this chapter. I don't normally do song fics but this one was just too perfect. I hope everyone enjoys this last chapter! It is a bit longer than all the others.

Please be aware that there will be flashbacks in this chapter (it was the only way I could get everything I wanted into this story). All flashbacks will be in italics and between page breaks. I hope that it isn't too difficult to follow.

With a groan of frustration Kate turned her back on her murder board and stalked back over to her desk. The week had been a long, hard, and exceptionally lonely. She rounded her desk and lowered herself into her chair, hoping that something, anything would come to her and point to whatever it was that she was missing on this case. She thought of Rick and his insane theories and smiled. Her eyes drifted to the handful of framed pictures that now adorned her desk. Reaching out she picked up one of the two of them and held it in both hands. Until that day she hadn't truly realized just how happy her life could be. She and Rick had been together as a couple for just under a year when he had asked her to marry him. His proposal had been simple and sweet and so them.

_Kate woke up that morning, as she usually did, to the feel of his body pressed closely against her back and his arm draped over her. As he did every morning they spent together in the same bed, he pressed a kiss to temple and pulled her just a bit closer. _

"_Good morning, beautiful." She smiled as she turned in his arms, bringing a hand up to run her fingers along his jaw. _

"_You do know that I think it's creepy when you watch me sleep, right?" It was a question that she found herself asking him often. So many times she would wake up to find him smiling as he watched her. And she always told him how creepy it was, secretly she loved it. _

"_Just making sure that I wasn't dreaming." It was what he always said to her in return. It was routine conversation that she hoped that they would have every morning for the rest of their lives. In the beginning of their relationship-their relationship as a couple anyway- Kate hadn't dared to dream that they would ever make it as far as they had. She had waited for that moment when he would realize she wasn't as interesting as he had believed her to be, and that there were women out there who were far more beautiful and elegant than she could ever hope to be. Or for the moment when all of his quirks that she found so endearing became an annoyance. She had even wondered if there would come a time when one or both of them stopped feeling the warm wave of love and lust when the other was near. But none of those things had ever come to be. Her finger still tingled when his hand brushed against hers as he handed her morning coffee. Her lips still warmed when they found his. And her heart still stuttered in those moments when she would catch him staring. The truth was that they simply couldn't get enough of each other._

"_I should start getting ready for work." Even as she said it she knew that she didn't want to. Mornings in bed with Castle were one of her favorite times of the day. They ranked right up there with nights in bed with Castle. _

"_You still have some time. Besides, there's something I want to give you." When her brow shot up he laughed._

"_No, not that…at least not yet." He grinned down at her as he shifted and hovered over her for a moment before brushing a tender kiss to her lips. She felt his hand shifting under her pillow and wondered at what he could be up to. _

_There was something about the way he looked down at her when he broke their kiss and shifted again so that he was bracing himself on one elbow looking down at her. There was a sense of intensity about the way he watched her without saying a word._

"_Castle, what are you up to?" This quiet and calm Castle had nervous butterflies dancing in her stomach. _

"_I wish that you could see yourself through my eyes. I wish that there was some way I could show you how exquisite you are. You take my breath away, Detective. You are a walking contradiction…and don't take that the wrong way. You are so amazingly strong, yet I have seen how soft your heart can be. You have experienced more heartache in one life than any person should ever have to experience, but though it took some time and convincing on my part, here you are…taking the risk and letting yourself love and be loved in return. I want to spend the rest of my life being amazed by you Kate." _

_Kate stared at the closed jewelry box in Rick's hand for a moment before taking it. She slowly opened it, the air rushing from her lungs as she saw the nestled in the velvet. It was perfect. The diamond encrusted band spilt on each side from the square cut diamond solitaire then joined together again._

"_When I went to look at rings the guy at Tiffany's asked me what you were like, what you did and when I told him he brought out all of these different rings. When I saw this one it automatically made me think of you. I thought about a bigger stone but I figured it would just get in the way. I also didn't want you getting mugged while you were chasing down some perp. It's platinum, so it's a little more durable than white gold, which I figured would be useful in your line of work." She was finding it difficult to process everything that he was saying. _

"_It's beautiful, Rick." Kate was doing her best not to cry as she waited for him to actually ask her. _

"_Is that a yes Detective?" He was smiling down at her as she continued to stare at the ring. She looked up at him and grinned._

"_You haven't asked me anything yet, Castle." She told him as she held the ring out to him. He took it from her and sat up in their bed._

"_You want me to get out up and come over and get on one knee?" They were both grinning by this point and when his question brought the image of him kneeling beside the bed naked and asking her to marry him she wanted to laugh._

"_No! If you got down on one knee naked I wouldn't be able to keep myself from laughing and that might bruise your ego. Just ask, I promise I'll say yes." She sat up hold the sheet to her chest with one hand. He took her left hand in his and slipped the ring on her finger._

"_Will you marry me, Kate?"_

Kate placed the picture back on her desk and smiled. Of course she had kept her promise and said yes. She ran a finger over her engagement ring and the diamond encrusted wedding ring that he had given her almost 6 months earlier. Rick had been in LA for a week ironing out the contract for the next Nikki Heat movie as well as making a few appearances for book signings. Since he had been gone she had spent most nights in their bed curled around his pillow wishing it were him.

Rick had called her every morning just to talk. She could tell that he was just as unhappy with the distance between them as she was. However, he hadn't called her that morning. He wasn't due back until the next evening so she kept waiting for his call to let her know what time to meet him at the airport. Kate laid both hands on the slight swell of her belly…her 'baby bump' as Castle referred to it. 'Daddy must be very busy' she thought to herself before turning her attention back to the case in front of her.

A few hours later Kate found herself completely immersed in her work. At some point during the morning she had stopped listening for her phone to ring and had simply assumed that her husband was simply busy trying to finish up his work on his last day in California. She was so caught up in the report that she was working on that she was startled when she heard the loud sharp scrape and thud as Esposito shoved his chair back from his desk and took off at a jog towards the stairwell. She watched him for a moment before she turned to Ryan who was now standing and walking slowly towards her.

"Please tell me that you two found something to break this case. Castle is coming home tomorrow and I could use a day…what is it?" Something about the way that Ryan lowered himself into Castle's chair beside her made her uneasy.

"Kevin, what's going on? Why did Esposito take off like a bat out of hell?" He reached out and took her hand in his. Everything about the way he was looking at her, the way that he was behaving had alarm bells going off in her head. This wasn't them. She and the boys didn't do affectionate unless it was a high-five or even on rare occasions feed-the-birds.

"He went to get Lanie…Kate-" She was standing before he finished, ready to spring into action.

"Oh God, did something happen to Lanie? Was there an accident? Where-" Ryan was pulling her back down trying to get to sit.

"Lanie's fine. She's down in the morgue." Her relief was overwhelming and she found herself sitting back in her chair. She was confused, if Lanie was fine why did Esposito run after her? Why was Ryan sitting in front of her his eyes full of distress? What was going on that she wasn't aware of?

"Kate, there was a shooting about an hour ago at a florist shop a few blocks from here. Evidently a bystander walked in on a guy trying to rob the place at gun point. The guy panicked, shots were fired and he fled the scene. A squad car was stopped at a red light when the shots were fired. They called in back-up and as they got out of the car the guy came running out. They already have him in custody…" Kate couldn't understand why Ryan was telling her all of this. Obviously there would be no need for Homicide to become involved if they already had the shooter.

"Why are you telling me this?" His grip on her hand tightened and he moved to kneel beside her. There were tears in his eyes when he looked up at her. At that moment Lanie came bursting out of the stairwell door followed closely by Esposito. Both were panting, but neither stopped moving until they were standing on the other side of her and she found herself flanked on all sides by her friends.

"Kate, the guy who walked in on the robbery, the guy who was shot was Castle-" It felt like Ryan had punched her in the gut. It couldn't possibly be Castle.

"That's possible. Rick's in California. He doesn't get home until tomorrow, I just told you that. Whoever this guy was, he wasn't Rick." She could feel hands resting on her shoulders but wasn't sure whose they were.

"Karpowski was in the coffee shop next door. She was one of the first to respond. She Id'ed Castle. Kate-"

"NO! Your wrong! He's in-"

"Sweetie, he's not in LA. He must have come home early. They were taking him to Presbyterian Kate. We need to go." Kate sat there and watched as Lanie grabbed her forgotten cellphone and opened the drawer where she kept her bag and took it out. Ryan was standing in front of her now pulling her out of the chair.

"Karpowski is sure it was Castle?" Her voice sounded strange even to her own ears.

"She's sure sweetie-" That was all she needed to hear. Kate took off through the bullpen at a sprint unsure and uncaring as to whether or not the others were behind her or not. The numbness was fading and she could feel her heart pounding, she could hear it above the shouts of her colleagues as she bounded down the stairs towards her vehicle. As she reached the car a hand grabbed hers before she could open the door.

"Esposito, let go!" As she tried to pull her hand free from his grasp Lanie appeared behind her and opened the door to the backseat.

"You can't drive Kate. Get in the back." Rather than argue with him and waste time, she allowed Lanie to guide her into the back seat. They had only made a few blocks when traffic began to grow heavier and their progress slowed.

"Hit the siren Javier." She yelled to the front of the car.

"Kate-" she leaned over the seat.

"Hit the damn siren NOW!" he followed her order and had traffic scattering out of the way. She barely waited for the car to stop in front of the entrance to the Emergency room before she was opening the door and running full out into the building and grabbing the first nurse that she found.

"Richard Castle, where is he?" she demanded of the small blonde in scrubs.

"Ma'am-"

"My husband was brought here with a GSW. Where is he?" Kate was closing in on hysteria and she knew that if someone didn't tell her where Rick was quickly she was going to lose it.

"Let me see if I can find out-" the young nurse quickly moved to the registration desk. Kate watched as she had a quick discussion with another nurse.

"Ma'am may I ask your relationship to the patient?" the new nurse asked. Kate felt herself completely lose her grip on her temper.

"I'M HIS WIFE! I'M ALSO NYPD! IF YOU DON'T TELL ME WHERE MY-" Before she could finish she heard someone shouting her name.

"BECKETT!" she turned to find Karpowski jogging towards her. Kate tried not to panic at the sight of all the blood soaking through the woman's shirt. She could feel her legs trying to buckle under her and the bile rising up her throat.

"Where is he?" She asked as the other woman reached her side.

"They took him straight to surgery. I'll take you back to the waiting room." Kate looked over as Lanie took her hand and squeezed and the four followed Karpowski to the waiting room.

It had been an hour since she had arrived at the hospital. She had listened as Karpowski had told them what little details she knew about Castle and his condition when he left the scene. GSW to the right of his chest, no exit wound but he had been semi-conscious when the paramedics had loaded him into the ambulance. Karpowski suggested that he might have been going into shock because he kept telling her that he was going to be late if they didn't leave.

It was ridiculous to believe that as many times as they had chased dangerous murderers through the streets of New York and managed to come out of their encounters relatively unharmed, that Castle would walk into an attempted robbery…at a flower shop no less. Kate tried to keep herself from drifting into the darkness of her thoughts but she couldn't seem to stop them from coming. She didn't know what she would do if he didn't make it out of this. Their daughter would never know the amazing man that her father had been…

"Oh God! Alexsis! I have to call Alexis-" She reached for her phone that Lanie had put in her bag.

"Sweetie, we took care of it. Montgomery went and picked them up. They're on their way. " Kate relaxed back into the chair a bit.

"I should call my dad…" she told Lanie as she turned on her phone. There were three missed text messages waiting for her from Castle. She sobbed as she read them.

**1:45pm- I miss u! **

**1:46pm- I love u! **

**1:47pm- C u soon! **

He'd come home a day early because he had missed her. He had gone into that flower shop because, being Castle, he had wanted to surprise her. Before she could finish her thoughts there was a commotion down the hallway as Alexis and Martha came running into the room. Kate stood up but before she could move towards them Alexis flung herself into her arms. Kate could feel the girls tears soaking through her shirt and pulled her closer.

A flash of a memory that Kate had long forgotten rushed back, one of her mother comforting her as a small child. She had been eight and her grandmother had just passed away. Her mother had wrapped Kate up in her arms as and held her as she wept. At that age Kate had understood that death meant that her grandmother wouldn't be coming back. It hadn't been the words that she had said so much as the soothing sound of her mother's voice, and the gentle way that she had run her fingers through Kate's dark curls and rubbed her back that had calmed her. Kate found herself imitating her mother's actions as she eased herself and Alexis into the waiting room chairs and rested her chin on top of the redhead in her arms. She watched as Lanie stood making room for Martha in the chair to Kate's left. Kate reached out a hand to the woman who had become so much like a mother to her and wasn't shocked when Martha grabbed it and held on tight.

_Kate stood staring outside the window, watching as another puffy white cloud slowly crept across the sky. It reminded her of the first time she had gone to the house in the Hamptons. The sky had been an amazing shade of blue that day as well. She heard the sounds of laughter as Lanie, Alexis, and Martha all came into the room where she had spent the last two hours waiting for this day to truly get started. She was standing in the middle of the room in a strapless bra and a pair of spandex bike shorts that she had been about to remove when she had gotten distracted by the view outside of the window. _

"_Well, that is certainly a different look for a wedding." Lanie teased as she reached Kate's side causing Rick's mother and daughter to laugh. _

"_I bet dad won't mind. He'd just say it meant less work for him later." The teenager grinned at Kate as she and Martha carefully brought the white gown to her. Kate shot a glare at both her best friend as well as her soon-to-be step-daughter. _

"_You know…" came Kate's muffled reply as all three women slid the dress down over her head, "It's not too late for me to find new bridesmaids!" As the dress was settled into place she turned so that Lanie could start sliding all the little pearl buttons into place._

"_UGH! What was my mother thinking with all the buttons? " She vaguely heard the "pop" of a champagne bottle behind her and looked over her shoulder to see Martha coming towards her with a glass less than half full. _

"_Drink this it will calm your nerves." The older woman told her as she placed the glass between Kate's hands. _

"_Why am I such a wreck? I'm freaking out about marrying the man that I love. It doesn't make any sense!"_

_Kate watched in the mirror as Martha wrapped her arms around Kate's satin covered waist and pressed so close that their cheeks were touching. _

"_Because my darling, love is a scary thing. I promise you that the moment you see him standing there waiting for you all of this will fade into nothing. You won't notice anyone but him, and rest assured that my son will have eyes only for you." Kate smiled as Martha's arms momentarily tightened around her. _

"_I couldn't have asked for someone more perfect for my son. I glad it was you, Kate." Martha whispered into her ear before pressing a kiss to her cheek._

"_So am I." Kate confided._

_Martha had been right. As Kate watched Alexis and then Lanie make their way up the flower lined steps at the entrance to the Osborne Garden in their lavender strapless tea-length dresses, she realized that the nerves that had plagued her all morning were gone. She looked at the beauty around her and felt only the light-hearted happiness of someone who was about to get everything she never knew that she had always wanted. _

_Castle had suggested the venue and she had been sold the moment they had stepped into the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens. They had come in the early fall with Alexis who had been years ago on a school trip. They had wandered through the various gardens and found things to be amazed at in each. Alexis had suggested that they have the wedding in the Japanese Hill-and-Pond Garden with its waterfall and the cherry blossoms that would be at the height of bloom for their April wedding. But Kate and Rick both had fallen in love with the Osborne Garden and its wisteria draped pergolas and the beautiful stone water basin that sat in the center of the far end of lush green lawn. Its simple elegance seemed to be a perfect fit for the two of them as a couple. _

"_Katie." She turned to find her father standing beside her looking as handsome as she could remember him ever looking in his black tuxedo. There was a sterling silver rose pinned to his lapel similar, she knew, to the ones that were pinned to the chests of her fiancé and his two best men. She couldn't wait to see him standing there with Ryan and Esposito beside him. _

"_My baby girl is all grown up." He took her hands in each of his and held their arms out wide so that he could see her in her dress._

_Kate had spent weeks looking for a dress that she loved and found nothing that spoke to her. She was about to settle for one that she liked when her father had called her while she was shopping. When she had told him about the dress she was going get he had been able to hear the disappointment in her voice. That was when he had asked her not to get the dress, but to drive up and see him that day. When she had gotten there her mom's wedding dress was laying still in the dress bag it had been preserved in. He had told her to go upstairs and try it on. The moment she had stepped in to the gown and pulled it up she had known. The dress had an off the shoulder neckline made of white lace that formed fitted ¾ length sleeves. The white satin of the dress that picked up where the lace left off hugged her chest and waist then fell into a full skirt that accentuated perfectly every part of her body. Kate wasn't able to do up the tiny pearl buttons in the back but she didn't doubt that the dress would fit. She told her father to come in when she heard his soft knock at the door. There had been tears between the two of them and when she had left with the dress hanging in the closet of her childhood bedroom she had texted Lanie to let her know that they could stop looking…she had found her dress._

"_Your mother would be beside herself right now. I know that she would have some motherly advice for you today, and I am sorry that she isn't here to give it to you. But she would be so happy for you Kate. She loved you so much, and she would be just as amazed as I am at the woman you have become. Knowing your mother she would have adored Rick, he is exactly the kind of man she would have hoped that you would find. He makes you smile. There was a time that I thought I might never see that again. He makes you laugh, and you haven't laughed nearly enough in your life. I'm not your mother but I know that if she were standing her today she would tell you to enjoy your life Kate, enjoy this life that you are about to begin. We only have so much time on this earth and you should spend that time being happy and being loved." Kate wiped at the tears that were threatening to spill onto her cheeks. _

"_I miss her so much." She sighed as her father cupped her face between his hands._

"_Every time I start to miss her I look at you and I see her smiling back at me." He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead._

"_I love you, dad." She told him as pressed her own kiss to his cheek. Her smile brightened as he offered her his arm. She looped her arm through his and together they started up the stairs where he would give her hand to Rick and take his seat next to the only empty chair left. A single rose that Kate had taken from her bouquet earlier that day still rested in the first chair in the first row, marking her mother's spot amongst the wedding guests. _

_As she strolled through the crowd trying to make her way back out of the Palm House, a large glasshouse that looked out onto the variety of lily pools and fountains outside, she could see Rick outside sitting at one of the candle-lit tables with her father and his mother. As she approached he turned in his chair, his eyes finding hers and his smile was instantaneous. He held out a hand to her and once she had taken it he pulled her down onto his lap. _

"_Hello beautiful. I missed you." She didn't bother to try and get up because she knew that he wouldn't let her. She also knew that while she had been making nice with people she barely knew, people that he had invited, he had escaped into the relative quiet with their respective parents and left her to fend for herself. _

"_There are at least fifty people at this event that I wouldn't be able to pick out of a line-up. You left me in there to fend off the masses." He nudged her hinting that he wanted her to stand back up. When she did he joined her taking her hand in his and asking their parents to excuse them. He led her over to a small walkway between two of the lily pools and pulled her into his arms. _

_**Anywhere you are, I am near**_

_**Anywhere you go, I'll be there**_

_**Anytime you whisper my name, you'll see**_

_**How every single promise I keep**_

_**Cuz what kind of guy would I be**_

_**If I was to leave when you need me most**_

_It took her a moment to realize that he was dancing with her in the open air of the early night as music floated through the open doors of the Palm House. She listened for a moment to the words of the song as he swayed them to and fro. _

_**What are words**_

_**If you really don't mean them**_

_**When you say them**_

_**What are words**_

_**If they're only for good times**_

_**Then it's off**_

_**When it's love**_

_**Yeah, you see them as lover's words**_

_**They never go away**_

_**They live on, even when we're gone**_

"_I would never abandon you Kate. I saw your dad sitting out here alone. He was telling me about your mom when my mother joined us." His hands moved from her hips and curled around her back, pulling her close to him. _

"_Thank you, Rick. I didn't see him come out." She was leaning back just enough so that she could still look up at him. _

"_You dad says that he thinks your mom would have approved of your choice in grooms." His grin was infectious. _

_**And I know an angel would say**_

_**Just from me and now know I'm meant**_

_**To be where I am and I'm gonna be**_

_**Standing right beside her tonight And I'm gonna be by your side**_

_**I would never leave when she needs me most**_

"_Yeah, he said the same thing to earlier. I know that this has been hard for him, not having her here." Kate laid her head against Rick's chest taking in the moment._

"_For you too. I don't know if I would be as strong as he is if I were in his place. Now that I have you, I can't imagine losing you."_

_**What are words**_

_**If you really don't mean them**_

_**When you say them**_

_**What are words**_

_**If they're only for good times**_

_**Then it's off**_

_**When it's love**_

_**Yeah, you see them as lover's words**_

_**They never go away**_

_**They live on, even when we're gone**_

"_You have me Rick…always." His hands found her neck under the dark curls that had been left down to frame her face. He tilted her head back bringing his forehead down to hers._

"_Always…" He continued to dance as he brought his lips down to hers. After a moment they parted and she once again laid her head against his chest and his arms resumed holding her pressed tightly to him. _

_**Anywhere you are, I am near**_

_**Anywhere you go, I'll be there**_

_**And I'm gonna be here forever more**_

_**Every single promise I keep**_

_**Cuz what kind of guy would I be**_

_**If I was to leave when you need me most**_

_**I'm forever keeping my angel close**_

Kate was startled awake as Lanie lightly shook her shoulder and called her name.

"Kate, they're done. The doctors are here." Kate looked past her friend to where Martha was already talking to the two men Kate assumed where the surgeons, then she looked down and found Alexis asleep on her shoulder.

"Sweetie…Alexis, the doctors are here. Come on." Slowly the girl lifted her head from Kate's shoulder and blinked up at her.

"I was hoping that it had just been a bad dream." Alexis told her as they stood. Kate took the girl's hand in her own as they started to join Martha and the doctors.

"Mrs. Castle, I'm Doctor Blake I'm the Cardio Vascular surgeon that was consulted and this is Dr. Patterson, she's the trauma surgeon that was on today. Your husband in open heart recovery right now, we will keep him there for another hour or so before we move him to the surgical intensive care unit. Your husband is a very lucky man, Mrs. Castle. The bullet did pierce the lung, but we were able to repair the damage. A centimeter more to the left and we would be having a different conversation right now…"

"Kate?" Kate had gripped Alexis's shoulder to keep herself standing.

"I'm ok. When can we see him?" She wasn't sure how much longer she could keep it together.

"As with all surgeries of this magnitude the next 24 to 48 hours are critical. Once we move him to the ICU you and your family will be able to visit him, but no more than two at a time and for no longer than 20 minutes. He's currently intubated, which means that right now he is breathing with the assistance of machines. We are going to keep him sedated throughout the night to allow his body the time that it needs to recover."

A little over an hour later Kate was standing at his bedside. She had let Martha and Alexis come in together and had waited while they had their time with him. When she had walked into the room she had been shocked at how pale and lifeless he seemed laying there in that bed with tubed and wires coming from him in every direction.

She walked over and pulled the chair up to the bed and sat as she picked up his hand.

"You were supposed to be in LA Rick. I'm supposed to be picking you up in the morning, and then we were going to go back to the loft so I could welcome you home properly. I got your texts after I had heard about the shooting. I was sitting there and it reading them and suddenly they felt like 'goodbye'. I thought about what Lanie said to me forever ago about how I wanted to be there when it came time to say goodbye. I'm not ready for 'goodbye' yet Rick. You're it for me. You're my one and done and we aren't done yet Castle. There is still so much left that we have to do and see together." She knew that they were keeping him sedated, they had told her as much, but part of her kept hoping that he would open his eyes and smile at her. Tell her all about trying to single-handedly apprehend a robber. Or whine about airplane food and the itchy pillows that they got in first class now. She didn't really care what he said so long as he would just sit up and talk to her. She sat for several minutes in silence, holding his hand and rubbing her belly.

"She kicked me today. Not those little ripples like butterflies that we have been feeling, but a real kick. I don't think your youngest daughter is any more of a morning person than you are. I figured she would be a handful, I mean look at you, but I think she's starting to demand to have her way a little early. I've been thinking about you all day. Different things, like how you proposed, how you never took your eyes off me while my dad walked me down the aisle, how we danced outside as the sun went down. I need you Rick. I need you to come back ok? "

"Mrs. Castle, I'm sorry but visiting hours are ending." Kate turned to the nurse who had popped her head in the doorway. She acknowledged that she had heard her and then turned back to Rick as she stood. She leaned over the bedrail and brushed a kiss against his temple and whispered in his ear.

"I miss you. I love you, always."

**3 months later**

Kate sat in the wheelchair with her baby girl in her arms for Alexis, Martha, and her father to bring the SUV around. She couldn't stop smiling down at the tiny bundle of pink and white. Elizabeth Johanna Beckett-Castle was the perfect blend of her parents. She had Castle's chin and eyes, something Kate secretly hoped didn't change. She also had her mother's nose and dark curly hair. They had counted twice to make sure that the little girl had the appropriate number of fingers and toes, and found themselves marveling at how tiny they were.

The bundle of joy had arrived right on schedule, which gave Kate hope that the little girl would have her sense of timing even if she did tend to stay up all night as her father once had. The nurse who had wheeled her down waited with her making small talk. When she spotted the black SUV coming up to pulling in front of the hospital she pointed it out to the nurse.

"That's our ride." She told the woman as all three of their escorts jumped from the car as soon as Alexis had put it into park. Jim began loading the various flowers, balloons, and baby paraphernalia into the back of the vehicle while Martha grabbed Kate's overnight bag. Alexis started to help Kate up from the wheelchair when she suddenly stopped short.

"Wait. Where's dad? " Kate sighed at Alexis's question and motioned vaguely.

"We lost him at the gift shop. I told him if he wasn't out front by the time you guys got back that we were leaving-" She was interrupted as Rick came rushing out the door with several bags in his hands.

"HA! I made it! Kate, you have got to see what I found…you're going to love it!" From one bag he pulled a pink and lavender miniature tulle tutu and held it up for all of them to admire.

"I don't think that's going to fit me Castle." Rick rolled his eyes, a habit he had picked up from his wife.

"Not for you, for her!" He pointed to their youngest before pulling out a miniature crown of pink and purple flowers and ribbons that matched.

"How long have the two of you been married?" The nurse asked Kate and Rick with a smile.

"8 1/2 months. It was a shotgun wedding." Castle whispered loudly enough so that everyone could hear.

"Will you stop telling people that? It was not a shotgun wedding!" Kate wanted to slap him every time he told someone that. She hadn't realized she was pregnant until their honeymoon was nearly over. They had talked about the possibility of kids, but it had been something that they had planned to do a year or two into their marriage. 'Oops!' she thought to herself with a grin.

"Hey, if your dad had known then, what he knows now it would have been!" Castle told her as his father-in-law stood beside him smiling.

"He's right Kate, it would have been." Jim teased his daughter. Both father and daughter were distracted when as Castle put the crown of flowers gently on the baby's hat-covered head.

"See she likes it!" Kate looked at the baby who was sleeping soundly through her father's antics and tried very hard to contain her 'aw'.

"Dad, seriously?" Alexis was watching her father amused by his excitement, even though her little sister really did look cute as a little princess.

"Don't worry pumpkin, I got one for you too!" he pulled out another 'crown' this one with white and yellow daisies.

"If you pull a tutu outta there for me I'll hit you with it." Alexis threatened as Castle placed her crown on her head.

"I looked, but they didn't have any in your size either." He grinned at her as she too rolled her eyes. It seemed they had all picked up the habit.

"Rick, put your daughter in the car." She offered the baby to him to avoid any 'which one' jokes and once he had Elizabeth securely tucked into his arms she got out of the uncomfortable wheelchair and made her own way to the vehicle.

"Lanie and the boys are already at the loft. I was assured that there would be food and drink ready when we got there." Alexis told her step-mother.

"I don't care about food. I just want my own bed, in my own house, where I don't have nurses coming and going and taking the baby for this and that. I just want all of us at home at the same time." Kate watched as Rick settled himself in the back seat with her, the baby and her car seat between them. Jim Beckett climbed into the very back row of the Navigator and pulled the door shut behind him. They were on the road for less than five minutes when Castle picked up Kate's hand that had been resting over their sleeping daughter.

"Kate…Best. Day. Ever." She smiled at him and leaned over to give him a quick kiss. So far they had managed to have quite a few '.ever' and with their family happy and healthy she was content knowing that there would be many more to come.

A/N: Well that's all folks! I hope that you enjoyed this last chapter.

The song is "What Are Words" by Chris Medina, and again thanks to Bella Paige for pointing that song out to me.


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